Courtesy Demands That…

Yeah, courtesy demands that when I sneeze, you say ”bless you” che! Not because you give a hoot about me but… hey! Courtesy demands. And at times…eh… eh… ugh… eh… aaachuuuunnnn!!! Excuse me.

As I was saying, at times… meanwhile did I just hear you say, “Bless you”? If you did thank you jare and if you didn’t… whatever! I have a slight cold so please bare with me.

You see, many a time, the society we live in demands of some things from us, things that could be said to be irrelevant or sometimes demanding, yeah demanding ‘cos we don’t really which to give it. Or what do you call a situation where you have to say good morning to that person you’ll rather have not seen that morning. You are compelled to say good morning, not by anyone but just because courtesy demands. On the real, shouldn’t you act as you really feel and walk past that person without saying a word or better still tell him/her to funk off. But you will not be said to be courteous if you do that, will you? An aunty/uncle that has never lent you any support all your life but has always been there to criticize and bad mouth you, suddenly shows up on your wedding day demanding for all sorts from your in-laws and saying for all who care to listen.“We trained him/her”. And there you are, smiling but boiling at a 100 degrees Celsius inside. Courtesy demands that you respect you elders che and you don’t want to give your in-laws a bad impression of your family, che? But what if you just act as you feel and tell the darn uncle/aunty to funk off! Oops! You need to play nice for the sake of posterity, my bad, pardon my mis-thought. eh… eh… ugh… eh… aaachuuuunnnn!!! Excuse me.

You step into a banking hall and take your turn on the queue, waiting to be attended to. You have 2500 naira in your savings account and need to withdraw 2000 naira urgently. Then just when its 2 people before your turn, this fly looking gentleman all dressed up like a million bucks, comes into the bank and walks straight up, past you, to the counter, with a “Close Up” smile on his face, he says to the cashier “how are you today young lady” and to your disbelief, she starts attending to him, flushing all over. There you are fuming like an angry cow but courtesy demands that you be civil in public places. You don’t want to shout and demand your turn just for the cashier to give you attention then find out all you want to collect is 2000naira. I say, shout your voice hoarse, raise the darn roof, get every body in the bank on their feet, you were waiting patiently on the queue to collect YOUR money, irregardless of the amount. You deserve to be respected. But don’t mind me jare…shebi you don’t want them to call you bush man.

And there you are at this fancy restaurant with your loved one, you guys are having a quiet and romantic evening together with love floating all around you both. Then suddenly, kpooos, is what you hear, your partner just fart. You look each other in the face and smile without saying a word. What a loving couple, so in love. However the smell slowly encompasses the atmosphere and you are virtually choking on your food. The stench is only comparable to what you get from a bust sewer tank and you are feeling so likely to puke. But as if you have a photographer waiting to snap you, you maintain that uncomfortable smile on your face. S houldn’t you just stand up and take a walk? Shouldn’t you be telling your partner the day is over and he/she should go flush his/her system with Dettol. Nah! That wouldn’t be right, would it? ‘cos courtesy demands that even when you are dying inside, you should be looking like “oh what a wonderful world” eh…

eh… ugh… eh… aaachuuuunnnn!!! Excuse me.

Sorry but I need to go get me some vitamins, this cold is… is… eh… eh… ugh… eh… aaachuuuunnnn!!! I’ll be right back!eh… aaachuuuunnnn!!!